His mouth curved into a grin as he ran his nose along hers. He touched his lips to hers, his hands sliding into the back pockets of her jeans as he deepened the kiss. Closing her eyes, she moved her mouth with his and then slowly reached back to lock the door. Pulling away, he eyed her as his grin grew.
“You know that won’t keep him out.”
“I don’t care,” she whispered as she returned her lips to his. She was ready for this. It was time, and she wanted to share this moment with him. She wanted to take their relationship to the next level. She loved and trusted him. Pulling away, she took his hand in hers and led him to his bed. Karson’s eyes searched hers as she lowered herself down and took in a deep breath, waiting for him to join her, but he didn’t move.
Running his hand through his hair, he asked, “Are you sure, Lacey?”
She slowly nodded. “Yeah, don’t you want to?”
“Fuck yeah, I do, I just don’t want to rush you.”
A smile pulled at her lips as she hooked her finger at him. They had lain in his bed countless times, watching TV and just fooling around, but this time was going to be different. This time she was going to give him all of her and hope that he didn’t reject her. Her heart was pounding and tears were gathering in her eyes, but she was ready. She wanted him, needed to feel him in the most intimate way.
“You’re not. Now come on, make love to me.”
That was all he needed to hear because, within seconds, he was crawling on top of her, pressing his hard length between her legs as he drew long, drugging kisses out of her. Running her shaky hands up his back, she tried to still her wildly beating heart but it was no use. Between Karson’s intoxicating kisses and the fact that he was about to see her breasts, her heart was beating louder than a drum.
Parting only an inch, Karson cupped her face in his hands as he held her gaze. “You’re shaking. Are you sure, baby? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”
“No, I’m just nervous.”
His brows cocked up as he ran his thumb along her bottom lip. “You have nothing to be nervous about. It’s just me. I love you.”
It was the first time he’d said it outright like that, and it totally stunned her. Usually, he would say, he was falling or that he was completely sprung for her, but never had he said those three words. Her stomach went nuts with butterflies, and her heart pounded against her chest as she held his gaze. “I love you, too.”
His grin grew as he said, “I thought you were going to leave me hanging.”
She laughed. “You know I love you. Isn’t it obvious?”
Dropping his head to hers, he slowly nodded before moving his lips along hers. “Yeah, I’ve known, but hearing you say it is better than scoring the winning goal, Lacey. I love you so damn much.”
He went to kiss her, but she knew it couldn’t go any further without telling him. Placing her finger against his lip, she whispered, “I need to tell you something before we go on.”
Biting into her lip, she knew she just had to say it. This was going to happen, and giving him a warning would be best. “You remember how I had breast cancer?”
He slowly nodded. “Yeah, it didn’t come back, did it? Is that why you had a bad time at your dad’s?” he asked, his eyes filling with panic as he placed his hands on the bed to push himself back on his haunches.
“No, not at all,” she said, trying to calm him down as she sat up, crossing her legs and placing her hands on his chest to soothe him. “It can’t come back in my breasts, Karson…since I don’t have any breasts. I had to have a double mastectomy a year ago.”
Without realizing it, her eyes filled with tears and she looked down at the bed to hide them. She couldn’t look at the shock on his face. It hurt her too much because she wasn’t sure what it meant. Was he thinking of an easy way out? Was he trying to figure out how to get out of bed with her without hurting her feelings? As seconds turned into minutes, she took in deep breaths and finally couldn’t take it anymore. Looking up, she met his confused gaze as he asked, “What? What do you mean? I’ve touched your boobs. I’ve grabbed them when we’ve made out.”
Her lip quivered as she slowly nodded. “I have a bra on that looks and feels like real breasts, but they aren’t.”
Lacey could see the confusion on his face, but she could also see the pure love in his eyes. Slowly, she reached for the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up and over her head, exposing herself in a way that no one had ever seen. Not even Rachel had seen her without clothing. She knew about the double mastectomy, so did her dad and Grady, but no one had ever seen it except for the doctors and nurses. Not looking in his eyes, she slowly undid the back of her bra and let it fall down her arms, allowing him to see her as tears welled up in her eyes. Looking down at her own chest, she hated the cancer that had taken away her breasts. They looked deflated, only skin from where she had been a full B cup shriveled up against her chest, with large, long pink scars going down the middle. She didn’t have nipples, just skin, and she knew it was disgusting, but she hoped that Karson would still love her.
Biting the inside of her cheek, she knew she couldn’t prolong it anymore, so she looked up to find Karson taking in every detail of her. When his eyes met hers, a single tear rolled down her cheek as she whispered, “I know I should have told you before this moment, but I was just so scared that you would reject me. I know they are disgusting—”