“Open them wider,” Dustin panted in my ear as he pressed my left knee against the leather backseat of his car. I thought we had this down by now, but sometimes he wanted something different. So I had to adjust. Also, keeping my head in the game was hard to do.
In the beginning it had hurt. Now it was just uncomfortable. But I loved Dustin, and he wanted sex. So I gave it to him. Which meant a few nights a week he pinched my ni**les really hard, then did the deed and we were done. Being close to him made it worth it. I had felt so disconnected from him lately that this helped ease my mind. When we were back here together, we were okay again.
“Like this?” I asked, moving my leg up to rest along the top of his backseat.
“Fuck, yeah. Like that, baby. Just like that. You’re always so damn tight. It’s almost impossible to get inside you.”
I agreed with him. Which was why it was so uncomfortable. It seemed like there must be something to make it slide in easier. But he never mentioned that, so I didn’t ask.
“Fuck, uhhhh, yeah . . . God, babe, so good, uhhhh! GAAAAH!” he cried out loudly as he threw his head back and his eyes rolled into his head.
That meant this was over. He was done. Thank God.
When he moved off me, I quickly sat up in case he wanted to go for round two. I felt like he had made me do splits this time. I didn’t want a round two.
“You do know we’ll get married one day, right?” Dustin said as helped straighten my skirt, then handed me my panties.
I had never told him how unsure I was about us having sex all the time, but he knew me too well. He had been my best friend all my life, and when our relationship had progressed into something more, it wasn’t a surprise to anyone.
I had loved Dustin Falco since we were kids, so it only made sense that he and I would evolve into this—even if I wasn’t sure this was what I wanted. Our relationship had changed so much over the past two years.
Or maybe it was just that Dustin had changed so much over the past two years.
Sometimes I didn’t recognize him anymore. The boy across the street wasn’t the easygoing, trustworthy friend I’d always adored. He was the record-breaking basketball star who already had college scouts checking him out his sophomore year of high school. Girls wanted him, and boys wanted to be him. He basked in the attention. He knew he was special and he wasn’t humble about it.
But I loved him. So I accepted this change. At least, I was doing my best to. Even if it meant he only had time for me when he wanted to have sex. The rest of the time he was busy playing basketball—and drinking with his friends, which was something I wouldn’t do. I drew the line at going to the parties he attended. I had gone to two of them with him, and he had gotten so trashed that I had been forced to walk home by myself. If I didn’t come home by curfew, my parents would ground me until I turned thirty.
They trusted Dustin, but they had no idea who he really was. Not anymore. My parents would never be okay with me going to parties. My curfew was earlier than everyone else’s. It frustrated Dustin, but he always assured me that it was okay, that he’d work around it.
“You’re not talking again, babe. That means you’re upset. What’d I do this time?” Dustin asked as I tugged my panties back into place.
“Nothing. Just lost in thought. I’m not upset,” I assured him. This was what I always did: made sure he was happy and worry free.
He leaned over and touched the side of my face. The gentle look in his eyes reminded me of the boy I’d fallen in love with years ago. “You’re my one, Sienna Roy. My one and only. You know that, right?”
I nodded. He had been telling me that since our first kiss. A first kiss that might not have happened if Dustin’s older brother, Dewayne, hadn’t been showing me attention. It wasn’t that kind of attention. Not the kind he showed the girls his age. Dewayne was a senior our freshman year of high school. He and his pack of friends ran the school. They owned it.
On our first day of high school, Dustin had left me behind to hang out with the basketball team and the older guys who were more than willing to bring him into the fold. I was the girl who didn’t know many people because of my strict parents. Dewayne, however, found me in the hallway at school that day. He helped me get through it. For my first lunch in the big cafeteria, Dustin had gone to sit with his new friends and not invited me. I was extremely intimidated by the place, so I found a spot by a tree outside to eat my lunch. Alone. Until Dewayne Falco found me and sat down beside me. It was that way for a while. But the more attention he showed me, the more attention Dustin began to show me. Soon I was Dustin’s girl.
“I love you, baby. You’re my girl. I hate that we have to rush and I can’t take you to a bed and surround you with candlelight. That’s what you deserve. It’s what I want for you. But right now we have to sneak around your parents. One day you’ll be free. We won’t have them watching your every move.”
I nodded. He was right. One day I would go to college and my father’s overprotective eyes wouldn’t be trained on me. He would have to let me make my own choices.
“I love you, too,” I told him.
He grinned, then leaned in to kiss me. It was a soft peck. After sex Dustin liked to treat me as if I were a treasure. He never wanted me to doubt that he cherished me. It was these few moments that made the rest of it worth it. Because the truth was, I didn’t like sex. It was uncomfortable and painful, and I didn’t understand why girls liked it so much. From the look on Dustin’s face whenever he got off, I could see that it was fantastic for him. But I never had that feeling. Aside from enjoying seeing him feel pleasure, I dreaded having to do it.