Home > Fashionably Dead and Wed (Hot Damned #7)(9)

Fashionably Dead and Wed (Hot Damned #7)(9)
Author: Robyn Peterman

“Then tie the knot in Hell,” he suggested with a wink. “It will certainly make for a good story.”

“It will be a farce and don’t wink at my mate,” Ethan snapped in annoyance. “We can close the portals ourselves. We don’t need the Devil to do it.”

“I beg to differ, sire,” Venus said as she entered the suite.

The mood in the room changed abruptly. There was an edge to Venus that always brought a bit of danger to the party. I adored that about her and was curious to hear what she had to say.

My dear friend had gorgeous skin as black as night and was as beautiful and deadly as they came. She’d been my first ally after I was turned and our friendship had deepened since. She would die for me and I would return the favor any day of the week.

“Speak,” Ethan said tersely.

“There are too many portals and we don’t know who’s opening them. We could close every portal in the North American Territory and they could be reopened within the hour,” she replied in frustration, running her hands through her wild curly hair.

“Hello, darling,” Gareth said to Venus in a voice rich with sexual undertone.

Venus raised a delicate eyebrow, gave him a look that would have withered a mere mortal and then ignored him completely.

Interesting… and I wished I had time to question Venus about it.

“So you’re in agreement with Gareth that we should be married in Hell and let the bastard blackmail us?” Ethan asked. He sat down in an armchair and crossed his arms over his broad chest.

“First of all, my liege, I’m not with Gareth on anything. Secondly, I would never assume to tell you what to do. I have far too much respect for you and Astrid to be so presumptuous. However, I do believe we need Satan’s help with the portals,” Venus replied.

“I think Venus looks tremendously sexy in those pants,” Gareth announced to room. “The way they hug her delectable ass is sinful. She could knock the Demons right back to Hell with that edible bottom.”

She turned on him so fast, I literally got blown across the room—even Ethan ducked. Her eyes blazed and her hiss was positively feral. Gareth grinned like an idiot—an idiot with a death wish.

“I think you might have spoken,” Venus ground out as she approached the delighted Gareth. “But I couldn’t make it out because it was so insultingly condescending, sexist, and stupid.”

“I said…” he started.

“My brother said nothing that pertains to the business at hand,” Ethan cut him off and shot the unrepentant Gareth a glare that would have made a lesser man cower. However, Gareth was not a lesser man. He had the same physical strength and power as his brother—but equal in the common sense department? Definitely not.

“Okay,” I said putting my hands up in the air making it clear it was my turn to speak before a bloodbath ensued. “Gareth, Venus will put you out of your misery long before we find Vlad if you don’t shut your cakehole. Venus, you’re a big girl and you need to ignore the oversexed imbecile on the couch unless he has something constructive to add that doesn’t include one of your body parts in the sentence.”

I paused to make sure my posse was following.

“Ethan, I think Venus is right. It chaps my ass to admit it, but we need Satan. We need to stop the stream of Demons coming in and we need to get the tight ass Vamps off of our case for a day or two.”

“I don’t want to owe the bastard anything,” Ethan stated firmly.

“Neither do I. I suppose if I have to, I’ll let him enhance a few more of my Christmas decorations next December,” I said morosely. “That should make him happy.

My Uncle had destroyed most of my ornaments due to his ornery nature and jealousy over the fact the world celebrated my Cousin Jesus’s birthday and not his.

“Oh, and Venus once we’re done figuring out how to save the world, I need you to try on your bridesmaid gown,” I added.

Venus gave me a nod and Gareth the middle finger, which seemed to thrill him to no end. I was going to have to keep them separated if I wanted both of them to be alive for the wedding.

“Fine,” Ethan said tightly. “Have Satan come back this evening. We’ll come to a consensus.”

“You mean you’ll compromise,” Gareth corrected him.

“Why compromise?” I asked not comprehending the difference.

“In a consensus there are two winners,” Gareth said with a shrug. “In a compromise, one person wins and the other loses. You are about to compromise.”

Gareth’s British accent mixed with a touch of Russian made everything he said sound correct, but in this case my brother-in-law was wrong.

“Nope. Satan might get to host the wedding, but we stem the flow of Demons and shut the angry Vampyres up. I say it looks a tie weighted heavier on our side,” I countered.

“Looks can be deceiving,” Gareth warned as he stood and gave us a cocky salute. “Trust me on that.”

“I wouldn’t trust you as far I as could throw you,” Venus muttered quietly.

Gareth crossed the room with inhuman speed and stood toe-to-toe with Venus. He might be aging, but there was no denying how insanely powerful the Vampyre was.

“Then you’d be a fool, my beautiful Venus. I didn’t take you for a fool,” he said so softly I had to lean in to hear.

I wasn’t sure if she was going to take his head off or if he was going to remove hers. I’d give them both a fifty-fifty chance.

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